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"Hey, I remember your from last year," she heard a voice say from behind her. She turned around and her heart skipped a little. She remembered him too. At this same work conference last year, they had found themselves together, along with a few other people, in the hotel bar during Happy Hour, while the rest of the conference was out doing other things.
As the drinks flowed, the two of them spent most of the evening together in the bar. She told me that he had definitely been hitting on her all that night and through a mixture of alcohol and boredom, she didn't necessarily waive him off. When it was time for her to head back up to her room, he accompanied her to the elevator. While they parted ways with a hug and a peck on the cheek, it was clear the sexual tension between them was palpable. She told me that had she been single, she might have ended the night differently. At the same time, he was just navigating a divorce and was still pretty hung up on his ex. So that's as far as it went.
Tonight, the whole conference was tipsy. People were everywhere, talking loudly and having shots...not just in the bar, but the lobby as well as several of the hotel rooms. She was in the bar and had been hanging with a new couple that she met the night before. They were getting something from the lobby.
"Well hi!" she said enthusiastically.
"Hi yourself," he replied. "How's your conference?"
"The conference is boring as always," she said, "but I've met way more fun people this time though."
"That's great! Mind if I join you?" he asked.
"Not at all," she replied, moving her purse out of the seat next to her. He slid in next to her and ordered a drink and a shot.
"You want a shot?" he asked her.
"Absolutely!" she replied and motioned for the bartender to bring two. They clinked their glasses together and took their shot. Her friends returned and sat on the opposite side of her. She introduced everyone and they spent the next couple hours visiting and drinking and enjoying the night. His phone range and he excused himself to answer it.
Her female friend said, "OMG, he's really into you!" Her husband laughed and agreed, saying, "yeah, not even a little. He's not even trying to hide it." My girlfriend shrugged and quickly explained what happened last year. She explained that he was a hot mess last year but had she been single, things might have progressed differently.
"You're clearly not fighting him off, " her friend said laughingly, "you guys have touched each other more than my husband and I have!"
She shrugged again and smiled. Her friend's husband chimed in, "Is your boyfriend going to be mad? Are you even going to tell him?"
"Of course I'll tell him. We have no secrets. Plus it's flirting and having a good time. He won't even care," she replied.
And It was true. I didn't care. If something had happened last year between them, that might have been a different scenario. We weren't in the best place emotionally or sexually. There had been a lot of drama and we had struggled to find some common ground. The truth is, things have gotten a lot better and I've honestly been trying to encourage her to find her sexual side again. It's been difficult for her lately to tap into that and I've been trying to find a way to reopen that door.
I basically only had three boundaries that needed to be considered. #1) Whatever the rules we decided on were, they needed to be universal and apply to both of us. One of us can't be out flirting and having a good time and the other one not having any fun. #2) She had to be totally honest with me. Whatever happened. Whether she got hit on or went on a date or had sex with a football team, I got to hear the details. I've recently discovered that I have a higher than normal interest in "hot wife" scenarios and if I couldn't be there to watch, I at least got to
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