The Dirty Old Man | |||
Author: Just Plain Bob | |||
Added: May 10 2005 | Views / Reads: 4245 / 3245 [76%] | Story vote: 9.30 (10 votes) | |
Surprise, surprise. | |||
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My relationships had never been long for the same reason I never married - I could not stand living with anyone else. The relationship would start out great and then the personal habits and idiosyncrasies would come out, irritate the hell out of me and things would be said and soon my current paramour would go stomping out the door in a huff. I never cared because there were always more where they came from. And then one day there weren't!
In my mid-forties arthritis began showing up in various parts of my body and soon I wasn't able to jog or work out at the gym anymore. I was still living the good life so the weight started building up. Then I started losing my hair. An accident with a plate glass window left me with a jagged scar running down my left cheek and suddenly there I was - old, fat, bald and ugly. But God does have a sense of humor and after seeing to it that I could no longer attract women he increased my sex drive - not a usual occurrence in men over fifty - instead of having it decrease as is usually the case. Suddenly I wanted more sex than I'd had in my thirties and forties. I wanted, needed, and ...
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