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I have never been the best wife. I always thought that my marriage was a stop gap until something better came along, with this in mind I suppose it did. The most unlikely of circumstances and probably most people will assume that I invited the problems in myself. I may have invited them in but I never guessed they would stay and change my life.

We had tried for a baby for a long time. It had never happened and I blamed myself and my husband thought it was him. Like any man he buried his head in the sand and I felt like I owed him something as I could not give him something he wanted. We became more distant over time and as I write this now he is working on an oil rig for the next four weeks and I am currently listening to my neighbours arguing about another women, who he had supposedly had sex with the night before. But the ‘bang bang bang' of the bed starts and she inevitably starts moaning his name, (the walls are paper thin). I have always thought about trying to compete with the noise and the moans she makes but I know they know my husband's not here right now, so they know I would be going solo or have another man in the house. Neither option sounds very appealing, and I must be honest neither of them do anything to turn me on in the slightest, or I may dabble in the self-pleasure they possibly expected from their neighbours with the amount of noise they insisted on making.

I write this in pleasure and pain, not understanding what has happened to me or whether I should report such an act to the police or be left ...

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