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"I quickly did the translation in my head. $50 for a hand job, $100 for a blow job and $200 for half and half (a blow job followed by fucking).

"'Okay,' I said."

And with those words (plus a few paragraphs of set-up beforehand), the author known as RSQMan69 invited us to have some "Fun in a New Orleans Gentleman's Club."

While poor little me, not being a gentleman, sat outside in the rain until this rather tasty Creole guitarist took pity upon me, and we... ooops. That's another story. Which I might tell you later, but first let's find out what RSQMan's been up to in the year since we last sat down with him, in May last year.

Sadly, it's not all been good news. Happily, the worst is behind him.

RSQ: I guess the biggest "event" was my almost dying. I was sitting on the couch watching TV, and felt a sudden squeezing sensation in my center chest and got lightheaded.

Being the longtime firefighter that I am, instead of calling 911, I sent my wife down to the fire station to bring me the AED so I could self-diagnose my problem. (Note to all readers.....self-diagnosis is a really dumb idea). I hooked up the leads and read a normal sinus rhythm. That meant it just had to be indigestion. (Second Note....Denial frequently leads to death). I took two Tums and the chest pressure went away. It was a coincidence, not a cure.

I went to bed, and when I got up at four the next morning to get ready for work, I passed out three times between the bedroom and the kitchen. I woke up the wife and went to the hospital. My vital signs were B/P 90/50 and dropping; pulse oximeter 50% and dropping; and resting heart rate was 132. Normal for me is 124/74, 99% and 60.

I was admitted with a saddle type bi-lateral pulmonary embolism. Most people die from it. I spent seven days in a cardiac unit under constant monitoring, given lots of clot busting medicine and blood thinners, and was released with no restrictions except to not over do it and a lifetime supply of blood thinners.

ES: Fuck!

RSQ: One of the results from that incident is, I know how close I came to not being around for this interview, or anything else. I wrote my first story for ES in 2004, and I averaged one new story every two years or so. I've written ten stories since the embolism and have several more in the works. I'm also doing a better job of keeping in touch with my close friends.

ES: As wake-up calls, that's a doozy. I hope I'm spared anything similar... I'm already writing as fast as I can! Onto happier topics... and let's stick with your stories. I think it's safe to say that the majority of your stories fall in the one-on-one category. Do you think that's actually an adequate overall title for the kind of stories you write?

RSQ: One-on-one and First Time adequately describe the majority of my stories, although sometimes I'm unsure which category would be the best fit. I listed my first threesome as a first time, although I suppose it could have fit under the group category as well. But let me ask you something. How many people need to be involved before it qualifies for a "group" category? Do "watchers" on the sidelines count? Inquiring people (ok, maybe just me) want to know.

ES: If they're only watching, they don't count... she said, without having ever consciously checked to see who is having a look. I guess I always think group needs to be ... actually, I don't know. Definitely not three. And four is just two couples. Let's say a minimum of five.

RSQ: I've written a couple of group stories, thankfully based on personal experiences, and may delve farther into that category. Most of your stories seem to be along the same lines of first time and one-on-one, although an occasional group story pops up. Is there a certain percentage of your stories based on real life or are they more towards the fantasy side? Which one is easier or more fun for you to write about?

ES: The vast majority of my stories are based on real life... with names and occasionally numbers changed to protect the innocent. For me, the fantasy comes in the set-up... although there are exceptions: "In The Court of Cleopatra," for example. I'm not that old, and I've never blown a hundred guys in a night.

"The Penis Diner" is another very obvious fantasy, although even there, there's elements of reality. The important thing is to keep things fresh, which is why I rarely write serials (the recent "Girl in the Doorway" being the obvious exception), and why most of my stories are first encounters. What's the fascination for you in that department?

RSQ: I guess the biggest fascination would be the "newness" factor. Meeting a new person for the first time is always exciting, even if sex isn't involved....yet. It's kind like seeing a woman's breasts for the first time. If she is 90 years old and they hang down to her knees, if she flashes me I'm going to have to look, kind of like watching a train wreck; scary but kind of exciting at the same time. Talking, getting better acquainted, seeing where things lead, learning more about them, feeling that initial spark grow into a burning desire, is a real turn on.

Which is better or more exciting from your experiences? Getting together with a friend/lover or that first time with a person you have just met?

ES: Checking around to see is anyone's reading this over my shoulder.... the old friend/lover is usually better. But the first time is always more exciting. So, can you relate anything you've written to your own "first time"?

RSQ: OOOOOHHHHH YEAH! I wrote a two-part story about the ordeal I had trying to lose my dreaded virginity when I was growing up. It took me almost two years to write the story, and I didn't manage to lose my virginity until the ripe old age of 23. The stories are "My First 1st Time" and "My Second 1st Time". Although ES doesn't have a category for where these stories really should have gone, and that would be Tragic/Comedy.

I always imagine that it is soooooooo much easier for women. If I had come out a female instead of a male, I do believe I could have ended my virginity well before I was 23. So I have to ask. From the time that you knew what sex was and wanted to try it out for yourself, how long did it take you to find that lucky guy?

ES: A couple of years, maybe a little more. It could have been less, I guess, but ... at that age, sometimes what you want to do and what you dare to do are very different.

I do remember a lot of "look don't touch" occasions while I waited, though. Followed by a lot of "touch but don't stroke," and then I got to "kiss but don't suck," which - and this may surprise you to learn - was actually the one I'd been waiting for the most. The first time a boy ever asked me to "put in your mouth," I was like "finally! I thought you'd never ask!" And things just kind of went from there.

"A Lot of Firsts for Sheila" has to be one of my favorites of your stories... there's a sense of glorious insanity about it that always makes me laugh, at the same time as it captures (from Sheila's point of view) what seems to be a very common predicament for a lot of women. Tell us more about that story... did it come from a personal experience/fantasy?

RSQ: That was a very true story, and also very unexpected. I was teaching a hands-on industrial fire fighting class for a client in New Orleans, and was only spending one night in the hotel. My only "plan" was to clean up, change clothes, go out to eat and then back to the hotel to work/play on the computer.

Fortunately, I saw Sheila walking across the parking lot of the hotel, said hello and things just went from there. We probably spent five or ten minutes chatting about things in general and finally the conversation worked around to the differences in the neighboring hotels we were in.

Of course I did the gentlemanly thing and invited her upstairs so she could "compare" rooms. Luckily the room comparison lead quickly to sex. and I got my first surprise. Sheila, having been married to the same man for fourteen years, had never had anything except straight missionary style, very plain vanilla sex. Hubby always had an orgasm, but Sheila almost never had one. She had never been with another man and knew nothing about oral sex, anal play, multiple orgasms or any of the other fun things I tend to take for granted that most people know about.

Once I learned about her almost total lack of knowledge about all things sexual, gentleman that I am, I made it my mission to broaden her knowledge. When I had finished Sheila's sex education session, she had experienced a lot of "firsts". - first time with a white guy; first time with someone besides her husband; first time having her pussy licked; first time having her asshole licked; first time having a G-spot orgasm; first time having her ass finger fucked; first time giving a blow job; first time tasting and swallowing cum; first time seeing a man taste his own cum; first time being with a man who was more interested in her pleasure than his own... and her first divorce, because Sheila was going to dump the worthless husband.......lol.

Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of "Sheila's" out there who have never experienced the joy that sex should be. I have met many women who lack knowledge in sexual matters, and being the teacher that I am, I try to help out where I can. How about you? We know for a fact that many men are clueless when it comes to pleasing a lady. Have you ever taken a young man (before they get set in their ways, and are still trainable) and made it your mission to "educate" him?

ES: Not consciously. I think... I've always known what I like, or found out very quickly if I'm with someone who has some new tricks to show off, and I'm not especially hesitant about making my feelings known. "Not like that, like this!" I used to be such a bitch when I was younger, haha. "You're doing it wrong!" And he's like... "I'm just lying here, getting my cock sucked. How can I do that wrong?" Oh, you'd be surprised....

But you're right, there are a lot of Sheilas out there, and I think if I do have a mission, it's to let them know that - well hey, that thing you won't do really isn't that bad. Which was behind my own story "That Thing You say You Like." Which, strangely turned into a story that a lot of readers wrote and said they didn't like, because the ending caught them completely off guard. My argument back to them was, she was breaking the habits of a lifetime, and there's more than one way to boil an egg.

RSQ: I always like to say, "I'm a male by birth, a man by age and a gentleman by choice." So, since I'm also a teacher of many different fun subjects, I'd love for the female readers to ask me for some lessons in some of those subjects. My focus is always on the lady's pleasure and she should always cum first and often.

ES: You mean, you think you have a choice? How sweet. Now, you've been writing here for ten years.... so tell us about your early experiences writing erotica. We all have our own reasons for writing our first stories, what were yours?

RSQ: There were a couple. The first reason was to try to improve my writing style. I am a very good technical writer, explaining/teaching emergency response subjects and publishing stories for fire service magazines, but I really sucked (and not in a good way) in trying to write a story for entertainment, where dialog needed to be a major part of the story.

Since I happen to have found a love for sex since conquering my virginity, lol, I decided to experiment with writing erotic stories. I had been reading stories on ES for many years and it was a hassle getting access to the site until I finally saw the notice that authors had free access if they would just submit a story. So I id.

My first attempt at a story was "Happy St. Patrick's Day". It was partially true and some fantasy, and I thought it was a very poorly written story. Imagine my surprise when the votes came in, and they were all nines and tens. That soon lead to my second story, "Meeting Desiree," and my votes suddenly changed to sixes and sevens, but accompanied by some really helpful and supportive comments from other ES authors, about how I could improve the story.

My other reason for writing stories, especially the true ones, is to give me a bank of fond memories as I grow older, and eventually become less active sexually. Most of my recent stories have scored nines and tens and I'll keep trying to write a better story but I don't think I'll ever reach the pinnacle you are on with your stories. You, being a sex Goddess and my idol, reading your stories gives me a story goal to strive to reach. So how did you get involved in writing erotica? Your stories make it seem effortless, even though I know a lot of work goes into the process.

ES: My usual answer is, I was dating a guy who was also a regular reader here, and when we broke up... when he broke us up... I wanted to get revenge. So I decided to write some stories that were basically... "this is what you're missing." And then I chickened out, and though the stories were written, I reworked them from a male perspective. Which lasted until I realized I had no idea what the male perspective was, so I took them all down, created a new account, and went back to my original plan. By which time well over a year had gone by, and the ex-boyfriend had probably forgotten all about me.

The second reason is... I love writing, but though I work in publishing, most of my time is spent dealing with other people's writing. So while my first stories were not quite "I can do better than the idiot I spent all day today editing," they were a way of letting off steam after - well, spending a day editing idiots. Published and very-well-known-in-their-field idiots, I hasten to add.

It became even more fun when I realized how horrified they'd be if they knew they were being edited by someone they'd consider a degenerate pornographer. "Please don't let her touch my work! You don't know where her hands have been." Haha! You should see me sucking my red pen.

And the third reason... I love sex, and I hate what it can do to people. The way a bad experience or a lousy lover can completely screw someone up. Sex is one of the most powerful motivators we have - which is a point I hope comes through in "Girl in the Doorway." Yet it is so easy to misinterpret that motivation, not only in other people, but also in ourselves.

Even if everyone else hated everything I do, the handful of letters I receive from readers who just want to say "thanks... that line in that story really helped me" will always keep me going. Especially if I can write it without being aware that is at all helpful, which is often the case. Haha, Saint Miranda, the Patron Saint of Swallowing. But talking of goals and dreams, do you have a "Holy Grail" in writing... a mood or a sensation you are trying to capture that forever remains just out of reach? And what would you do if you ever actually reached it?

RSQ: Wow. The questions suddenly got harder. Now you are acting just like a woman....trying to make a man to get in touch with his inner feelings and open himself up to you......lol.

Ok. Here goes. I've never stopped to think what my "Holy Grail" of writing erotica might be. I guess I want my stories to reach out to the readers, and allow them to live vicariously through them. I have always been a voracious reader of anything... biographies, histories, mysteries, erotica, westerns, sci fy, technical manuals, food container labels, road signs.... and the best stories leave me with the feeling that I was right there in the story, experiencing the same things the author did.

If it's an adventure story I find my pulse rate climbing as the hero/heroine works their way through the adventure. If it is well-written erotica, then my body responds just like it would have had I been there experiencing the joys. A well-written story of any genre touches on more than one sense. I can actually see the action happening, smell the dust, sweat through the heat and shiver with the cold, hear the orders being shouted out, feel the pain from the wound, smell the odor and taste the coppery blood, taste the sweet juices from an aroused pussy, feel the lips, fingers, hands, breasts on my cock, dive to the bottom of the ocean, ride the rocket into space, etc.

So, my "Holy Grail" would be to reach out and touch every one of a reader's senses, and the only real way to determine if I have succeeded is from the readers that actually take the time to vote and comment on my efforts. A story that receives all 10s and all positive comments would mean I had achieved it. Judging from the votes and comments on my last ten stories, I am getting better at what I want to do, but to reach the "Holy Grail" will likely remain a distant dream since it is impossible to please everyone. If you stood on a street corner handing out free $20 bills, no strings attached, to anyone who passed by, someone would bitch because it wasn't a $50 bill.

If I ever did reach the "Holy Grail," I likely would spend a couple of minutes patting myself on the back but you are only as good as your next story so, yes, I would have to continue trying to maintain what I had finally achieved.

Now let's swap that around. What is your "Holy Grail" and do you ever see yourself reaching it?

ES: You pretty much hit it bang on the head there, although... I'd maybe tighten the focus a little. It's the transition from the written word to the living image. A story that you can read, and it feels like a movie - a movie that you are the star of. But in more mechanical terms, what do you think "good erotica" actually entails?

RSQ: To start with, good erotica has to have a story line. It has to be well-written grammatically. Misspelled words, run-on sentences, no paragraphs, using text abbreviations (u8me) indicates to me that the author is functionally illiterate, and nothing makes me quit reading a story faster than that.

If English is not the writer's primary language, I can overlook some of those errors, although paragraphs and an avoidance of text speak should be common to most languages. But I need to be drawn into the story. It has to grab my attention and keep it, and I can usually tell by the second or third paragraph if I will continue with the story or not.

There are six people working out of the office I'm in and I'm the only one that can construct a paragraph and have it make sense, and several of them are college graduates. Can you tell I'm not a fan of our current education system?

ES: Believe me, I know. I'm not much of a fan of our current educators, either. I was actually talking about this with a friend the other day, and we came to the conclusion that "education" ended the day they first allowed kids to take calculators into math classes. That was the moment they said "we have machines! You don't have to think anymore." And it's been downhill from there.

RSQ: What makes a story grab your attention? How often do you read a story that is not normally an interest of yours, but you are intrigued by the opening lines or you just have a burning curiosity about a topic?

ES: We'll take my own hatred of poor language, grammar and construction as written, and the need for an intriguing opening as well. Once a story gets going, for me the important thing is for the writer to actually write the story, and not just type it. 'I fucked her hard and she came.' Really? Not if you fucked her with the same utter absence of passion that you display when you write about it.

Sex is one of the most tactile experiences we have at our disposal. If a writer can't be bothered to actually talk about what he or she physically felt, then why write about it in the first place? Although I do sometimes take a perverse pleasure from reading the comments people leave at the end, to see if anyone else feels the same way. Knowing there's a lot of people here who do.

What is your own relationship with readers? Do you aim stories at what you know your own fan club will enjoy? Or do you write first, then worry about what people will think afterwards?

RSQ: I don't have a very big fan club but when one of my fans is Naughty Miranda, what more do I need?

I write the story first, and the reader's votes and comments will tell me how I did, although I'm not overly concerned with trying to get more and more readers to list me as one of their favorite authors. I'm not in a competition with anyone about who has the most fans, the highest vote tallies, etc.

ES: I'm sort of the opposite... although I'm in competition with myself, more than other writers. I do value my Favorite Author ranking, because - well, (a), it's an honor, and (b), it's also a gauge of how I'm doing. There's been a couple of times when I've slipped down a place or two, which tells me I need to write more stories very soon; and I need to make sure they're good ones.

RSQ: The other thing that I don't like is... I have read dozens of stories by some of the authors on the site, yet when I check their profile, it says they have only written say, fifteen stories. At which point, I know they are dropping lower scoring stories so they can get an artificially high ranking on the list and that just doesn't interest me.

ES: I'm not sure that is their only reason... one great thing about publishing online is it means a story is never truly "finished." In print, once it's printed, it's fixed. Fossilized. Online, that doesn't have to happen. I've written and posted several that I'll look at again a while later, and find myself wondering why this happened here, or that happened there; gone in, changed it, then realized that one change demands another and another... and suddenly there's a whole new story; or maybe, "remix" would be more appropriate.

So the fact that it's often "under-performing" stories that disappear may have nothing to do vote averages... it's because it's the under-performers are often the ones that need to be revised! We always look to improve ourselves!

RSQ: Which brings me to my final question for you - which is actually a question for myself.

ES: Okay....

RSQ: Do I have time to spend a three-day naked weekend with you?

ES: And the answer is....


ES: Okay. But you have to pay for the tickets! I need to go buy some clothes to wear....

Thanks to RSQMan69 for taking part in this - please go read his stories, and if he's not already one of your favorite authors, then click the link on her profile and he will be. And look out for another conversation soon!

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