Some people just aren't very good at following instructions! Juanwildone's first story was published here back in 2004, since when, he has published 40 new tales, spread across a variety of categories. So I sent him the usual list of questions, and I expected the usual variety of answers. Instead... instead, I got a lot more than I bargained for!
As for whether any of this actually took place - well, that's for Juan and I to know, and you to imagine....
"So what if I am? It's your cum." Miranda, aka Naughty Miranda, aka "Oh my God where the fuck did you learn that" snaked a long pink tongue out of the corner of her mouth and swiped up the dribble of semen. "Yum."
"You, my friend, have some seriously mad skills when it comes to the fine art of oral sex." Juan shuttered at the predatory gleam in her young eyes, this one seemed insatiable. How she got him to cum twice in the last hour he'd never know. "I have no idea what you were doing at the end but it felt like my balls were exploding - damn you are one crazy cocksucking woman."
"Oh juan," Miranda smiled the smile of the knowing and shook her head. Actually the shake was as much for her benefit. How the fuck had she ended up in juan's hotel room with a half swallowed mouthful of cum? This was supposed to be a simple interview - just coffee and questions. The coffee had gone well and a walk along the river was going to be the venue for the "q and a". But one seemingly innocent "Oh I forgot my camera, let's stop by my room." later and she was looking up at the ceiling while juan jackhammered her cunt.
That alone was reason enough for a good shake of her head. What followed was like a series of stills from one of Eroticstories video previews; enjoying the view, fingers twisting her bra clad nipples, panties around her knees (how the fuck he managed that she still couldn't figured out), and then that damn tongue of his spearing her cunt and laving her clit. The wiley old bastard (he was older than her dad for godsake) had steered her through a couple of decent orgasms before popping his nuts in her cunt (and why the fuck didn't she insist on a condom?) "Wouldn't you like to know, Mr. wildone."
Actually she wanted to know why she hadn't taken charge after the first round. He's an old guy, one cum and he should've be done. She had certainly felt him go soft inside her, but then he had started that wierd tapping on her clit with his thumb - "morse code for endless orgasms" he'd called it. Damn him that he was telling the truth. Any chance of reasserting herself was long gone somewhere between the fourth and that "ohmyGAWD" fifth orgasm.
How he convinced her to kegel up while riding him was left unanswered; as was any chance of resistance. Well at least she was able to remind him not to cum in her the second time. Except that he interpreted that as simply not coming in her pussy, how he could move so fast to stick his dick in her mouth she'd have to pondered. Instinct had taken over when she'd tasted their combined juices; he sure pumped a lot of stuff out for an old guy.
"I have to say juan, you don't mind if I just call you juan do you? Good. My secrets are just that - my secrets. Now tuck that cute little dick back into your shorts and sit. I'm asking the questions here, you're doing the answering - got it?"
"Yes ma'am - I see now - you're a woman who knows what she wants. So now that you've drained me dry, I'm just another author to be cast aside. A footnote in your long list of conquests?"
"Ha, who conquered who? And because you took 'advantage' of me you'll likely get no mention at all in my as yet to be published memoirs. Now as I was saying or rather asking you earlier before you charmed yourself into my pussy and my mouth - when did this all start? What got you into the sex story biz?
"Well, I published my first story 'Santa's Little Helper" back in 2002, I think "Philatel Mistake" or "Brace Yourself" were next, I dunno."
"You don't know? Don't you keep track of your stories, you know, drafts, rewrites, revisions, posting dates, all that kind of stuff?"
"Nope, I don't do any of that stuff. I'm not very disciplined when it comes to writing - shit I never got better than "C" in high school English. And yes, before you say anything else, that is why I can't spell for shit and my grammer is atrocious. Despite all that I've got stories posted all over the net, besides eroticstories I've got some over at asstr, Literotica, and Storiesonline. Some of the stories I have at Lit and Sol aren't posted here because of restrictions."
"Whoa, what stories?" Miranda sat up and pulled her baby t-shirt back on, which did a good job of hiding her cute little tits but left her cum-soaked pussy in full view. She smiled to herself as juan looked at her, not that she expected the old guy to do anything about it. He was starting to look like he needed a nap.
"Well, like "Saving Eowyn" its a Lord of the Rings story about the "healing" that occurred between Eowyn and Faramir. It has a scene of non-consenual sex, basically a non-consensual sex scene that's necessary for Eowyn to be brought back from her Purgatory like existance, while it's crucial to the story it's no go here. But that's cool, it's Art's site and he needs to do what's right for him - I got no problems with that."
"Okay, back to my questions, um...what got you started writing erotica?"
"Well, as a card carrying AARP member I got my start in appreciating the written through the obvious place, namely Penthouse Letters. I loved those stories. I was reading Penthouse Letters way back before Penthouse even went to full frontal nudity. You have no idea how mind blowing that first flash of full bush was - now they hold nothing back. Even so I bet that particular issue has to be one of the all-time collectibles. Anyway, I enjoyed reading erotic tales and eventually I got inspired to write a story."
Miranda tucked her hair behind her ear. "What inspired you to do that? To write your first story?"
"Well, I guess like everyone else, once the net got going, I discovered erotica online. Some of the stuff was great, some was crap - lots in between. I began to think that I could do as good or even a better job than some of the authors so I started messing around, only to discover I couldn't write worth a shit. I had a bunch of sex scenes popping up in my head all the time so I just tried to write them into a story. I'd get a couple of pages in and hit a wall. But in the middle of screwing around with that story out popped "Santa's Little Helper" and a bunch of other ones too. Then it was off to the races. Some of those scenes eventually ended up becoming a story called "The Photograph." I say eventually because it took me a couple of years to finally get a story out of that shit."
"Um...okay...so do you write from experience or...?" Miranda felt a tickle on her inner thigh and reached down to find a thick drip of cum. A quick flick with her finger and the drip ended up on her tongue - damn he had tasty cum. For moment she wished his cock had been bigger - make that thicker, she'd never been one to enjoy having her cervix pounded into submission. But on the plus side juan's dick had been so hard - a little stiffie of excitation - no it was fine just the way it was.
"Strictly fantasy my dear, strictly fantasy. The kinkiest scene I've ever been in was three guys and two girls. Other than that, I've had a fairly vanilla sex life. And as far as I know I write anonymously, nobody knows but me. This is my own private perversion."
"Oh...well what about other authors, are you friends with any, do you correspond regularly? Who are you're favorite authors?" Miranda felt a fresh trickle from her cunt and decided to enjoy a little bit more of juan's spicy salsa.
"I'm not much of a e-mail guy...would you stop doing that, it's very distracting."
"Scooping jizz out of your cunt and sucking on it. I can't think when you're doing that."
"Sorry, but you've got really yummy cum."
"I'm a vegetarian."
"Really? I once had a boyfriend who wanted to film me stuffing a zucchini up my...?
"I get the picture." Juan shifted side to side.
"So did he." Miranda smiled, finally she had juan outside his comfort zone. She glanced at the clock next to the bed, this should have been done by now. It was time to take charge of this situation. "Well then the jerk told me that he was going to post them online if I didn't arrange a threesome - which I did and it was an absolute blast. In fact I enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than he did because after we had fucked ourselves silly my girlfriend and I got revenge by getting him so drunk he passed out. Then we took photos of him with one of my vibrators sticking out of his butt and a very realistic dildo in his mouth. He was very cooperative after that."
"Whoa, visuals I could have gone to my grave without, thank you." Juan couldn't help but smile, she was obviously a very naughty girl. Cute and naughty girls with a taste for cum were few and far between, that she was comfortable with threesomes was an encouraging sign.
"Sorry, so about your writing - is it easy for you? Do you work with an editor? What about readers, do they influence what you write?" Miranda flopped back on the bed, the pink gash of her well fucked cunt glistened with new arousal. Unconsciously her hand trailed down between her thighs and her index finger traced desultory circles around her hidden clit. Juan tried valiantly to not notice - too much.
"I've tried using voluntary editors a couple of times but I can't say that worked for me. Although for a while I played around over at The Fish Tank; Desdemona's erotic writing site. That was a very helpful experience, great feedback, I learned a lot there. Then I got real busy with work and had to let it go. But to answer your questions, I'll reply to any reader who e-mails me, doesn't matter if they love my stories or hate 'em. As far as easy or not, some stories have just poured out of me. Others seem to take forever, I have close to 400 stories in various states of undoneness sitting on my hard drive right now. Some are just a couple of pages along, while others are an edit pass away from posting but I've lost interest in them. So they just sit there getting old. Que sera sera."
"You're highest rated story is The Good Book at 9.41 - any thoughts on why?" Miranda added a second finger to her efforts and began to dip both into her cunt every other time around. Juan gave up resisting and adjusted his suddenly uncomfortable shorts.
"I think the innocence of the couple was attractive to readers and the way I wrote it, hiding the reality of just what type of book it was made it very appealing. I think everyone wants to make that journey from naive to naughty...speaking of which."
Juan pushed his shorts down to the floor and grabbed Miranda's ankles. A quick twist had Miranda on her knees before she could squeak in protest. Juan grabbed her hips and pulled her wet cunt onto his resurrected erection.
"Juan! I'm...not...fin...ished...with...the...in...ter...view. Ohhhh!" Miranda stopped trying to talk and focused on pushing her hips back against juan's as her fingers didddled her clit. Juan put his own fingers to work slipping first one and then a second alongside his pistoning cock. Somehow (he would never admit otherwise) his thumb kept bumping against Miranda's sensitive rosebud until it finally pierced her ass. "Goddammn it juan I didn't say you...could...could...ohfuck. AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Juan let his limp dick slip from Miranda's cunt. A long string of cum kept the lovers attached. "No need to thank me for that."
"You jerk, I didn't say you could stick anything in my butt!"
"You sure sounded like you enjoyed it."
"That's not the point - oh forget it." Miranda rolled over into a seated position. "We're almost done here. Now one of my favorite titles of yours is "Cum Pirates of the 97th Century" what's up with that?"
Juan pulled his shorts up and buttoned them. "I love sci-fi and I like a good laugh - Cum Pirates seemed to do the trick. Basically I write for myself. Sometimes I like to see how far I can push something and not break it, like the story 52 pick-up. That was a take-off from another authors story, I didn't like the way he got the characters to his ending. I tried to get them to the same place but by a different route. I think I did pretty good - some readers agree, some don't. It's cool."
Miranda didn't even bother looking at the clock, she was late for her next meeting. She started pulling on her clothes (showering would have to wait). She looked at juan (the horny old fart) and was just about to ask the wrap up question, "Is there anything else you'd like to say?" when she noticed her recorder wasn't working and judging by the counter showing three zeros hadn't been all morning. "Shit...fucking batteries. I've got nothing. I've got a big fat nada. FUCK! We have to do this again. Juan can I reschedule this...please."
"I am definitely up for a repeat performance. You are magnificent."
Miranda gasped, was he actually serious? "Don't even think about it juan. This was, this morning was...you got lucky alright, just leave it at that. I had a bunch more questions anyway that I never got to ask, but we don't have time for any of that now. SHIT! Okay what about this, how about I e-mail my list of questions and you answer them then e-me back."
Juan smiled as her trim figure disappeared as she dressed. "How about I write you into a story instead."
"Right, like I'm going to go for that."
"No seriously, let's make it a bet; you send me the questions, I'll write them up in a story and get it to you before Friday. If I do, then this weekend - you, me, and 48 hours of unfettered debauchery - feel free to invite a girlfriend or two."
"C'mon, don't be afraid."
"I'm not afraid, least of all of you."
"So it's a deal then?"
"Me - in one of your stories? Okay sure why not - it's a bet. If you write a good story, I want three thousand words minimum juan, and get it to me by Friday. You do that and you get me - just me - for a whole weekend. I know you'll never do it though. You're too lazy and undisciplined, your own words juan. And if you don't do it, then I get a weekend shopping spree on your credit card. Just like I used to do with dear old Dad."
"Done!" Juan shook Miranda's hand.
She swung her purse over her shoulder and smiled. "Bye juan - oh juan one last question, I've heard that your e-mail replies all have some Spanish phrase at the end - what it it?
"Vaya con dios - go with God. Adios muchacha."
"Hey Miranda I love what you did with that juanwildone interview, what an original twist. Good job; work hard on it all weekend?"
"You could say that." Miranda squirmed in her seat. "Got anything else Art? I'm kinda wiped. I need to go soak in a nice hot tub for a real long time."
Miranda thought back to her crazy forty-eight hours with juan. He had opened the door to his hotel suite on that cold Saturday morning at precisely eight a.m. Miranda, per his instructions, had brought coffee and scones. They enjoyed the light breakfast and made small talk as they ate. At nine a chimed sounded from across the room where an Apple logo glowed. Juan rose and extended his hand to Miranda who allowed herself to be led to the bedroom. The freshly made bed was perfectly turned down. On the night stand beside it was an eclectic collection of sex toys, restraints, lubes, and a row of little blue pills. Miranda had shuddered in realization at the long weekend ahead.
At precisely eight a.m. this very morning, Miranda had walked out the door, thoroughly and utterly fucked in every possible way. Her jaw was sore, her cunt raw from overuse, and her delicate starfish swollen from repeated fuckings - many like the one that had just ended. Showered and dressed for work Miranda's hand was on the doorknob when juan had mentioned that it was five minutes before 8 a.m.
He had placed her hands on the knob, bent her at the waist, pushed her skirt up and pulled her panties down. He entered her embarrassingly wet cunt with practiced ease and precisely twenty slow, deep strokes later (an exact twenty because she was required to count them out) he repositioned his cock at her ass and pushed forward. He had slowly and surely increased the tempo and ferocity of his fucking until he came with cry and she felt his cock pulse inside her one final time. His dick slipped out, he pulled her panties up and smoothed her skirt down. His hand covered hers and the door opened. That damn Apple chimed behind her and she'd exited the room.
"Sure, go home you've earned it. You know, I'm still having a hard time getting over the fact he's not Hispanic or anything. Guy's as white as you, huh? So you didn't learn any Spanish words or anything?"
Miranda looked at her monitor and sighed, "Oh, I learn plenty of that south of the border lingo."
Miranda turned to Art and smiled, "I learned more than I'll ever need to know about Dirty Sanchez. Yep, that's what I learned this weekend Art - everything I needed to know about Dirty Sanchez."
Art gasped in shock, then smiled. "Prove it."
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