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Tutoring Billy by decal (decal02@hotmail.com)

Part 5

Thank God I had the weekend before my next visit to the craziness of Matson mansion. After that encounter with Arnie I really needed to make sense of what was going on...try to figure out what to do...about Billy...and about Arnie's threat. But my feelings were a tangled mess. On the one hand, I finally was accepting that I loved Billy and wanted to protect him. But on the other, knowing that Gwyn wanted me...well, that excited me beyond reason. And if that wasn't enough...the clincher that now threatened what little bit of sanity I still felt: my encounter with Arnie left me hot for him. Overarching the whole mess was the threat of exposure and my whole life in ruins. What made it worse was that I had no one to blame but myself. If I just had just kept my dick in my pants around Billy, I wouldn't be in this predicament. But at the same time, I knew I'd do it over again in a moment.

I tried to banish all this from my mind so I could relax, clear my brain...but it didn't work. Every time the frat house phone rang, I thought it was Arnie calling to tell me to come over for my 'date' with Gwyn. Each time my stomach turned so badly I thought I was going to puke. Ray sensed something bad was going on and checked in on me a few of times. Each time I reacted with "Leave me the fuck alone" or some ...

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