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Cabin Fever

By: Jordon Lynn

Chapter 1 The Malady

There is a psychological malady prevalent in the northern tier of the Rocky Mountain States--Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, and the Dakotas. It generally surfaces around mid February--if not sooner--and can last into early June. It's symptoms range from mild irritation over things which would otherwise go unnoticed, to bouts of severe depression, to actually going out of your fuckin' mind. In other parts of the country, I'm sure it is known by different names. In our part of the country, it is commonly called Cabin Fever.

Cabin Fever has two root causes. The main contributing factor is the weather. Inside a well insulated home it may be warm and toasty, but the weather outside (per ye olde Christmas song) is frightful. The high mountain winds drive the falling snow sideways with such force that it feels like icy needles piercing any negligently exposed area of skin, while, at the same time, the computed wind chill factor is sending the temperature straight into the minus double digits.

The second root cause is directly influenced by the first. Unless there is an absolute need to be outdoors, any reasonably sensible person is ...

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