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If you knew the exact day you were going to die, would you be able to function? Could you go about the normal, humdrum minutiae of life knowing the precise date of your demise? Even if you had 80 years ahead of you, would you wake up thinking, "Well, I only get to do that 29,000 more times,"?

I bring this terrifying dilemma to your attention because, as death is one of the defining aspects of life, so is sex, and I happened to know the exact date that I would lose my virginity. It was going to be on Thursday, as a matter of fact. I'd hoped that Elaine's would be the first pussy I would enjoy, but her gorgeous and scary friend Julia demanded that she be the first to enjoy my freakishly large penis. Elaine acquiesced to her wishes. And Thursday was the day.

I insisted on one condition-Elaine had to be there. At the party where I'd first encountered Julia she had butt-fucked me with a strap-on until I was in tears. I was afraid that during the emotionally vulnerable moment when I lost my virginity Julia would do something vicious and twisted that would fuck me up for life. I trusted and loved Elaine, and knew she wouldn't let me get fucked any other way than the way God intended. If, indeed, God had a hand in this rather messed-up situation. I kinda doubt it.

I was excited, sure. To finally have my penis inside a woman, to bury myself inside a warm, wet vagina...it had me climbing the walls. I ...

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