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I really only started reading "Scene" Magazine after The Free Times folded--that was a real bummer, wasn't it? Anyway, the music coverage had always been pretty good, and the sports picked up some when they hired a few of the Free Times writers, so it wasn't all bad. But those ads in the back every week--you know the ones, listed under "Adult Services"--kept attracting my attention.

At first, I was startled that they could even print some of the ads: advertising "one on one action" seemed to go beyond promoting a supposedly prim and proper escort service. And the text of the ads got pretty lurid in some cases. The ones which really caught my eye, however, were the ones purporting to have been placed by college girls looking to earn some extra money to pay tuition.

I might as well admit, right here at the outset, that I have an inappropriate fixation on college girls. No doubt it derives from having gone to one of those all-men's colleges in the East before the great wave of coeducation swept them away in the mid-70's. As a result, I missed most of the fun which you were supposed to have in college, and I've never quite gotten over it. I know most of you probably think I'm some sort of pervert for being so obsessed with girls young enough to be my daughter--but so be it, that's the way it is.

And it's not like I'm a decrepit old man, either. Even though I won't ...

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