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GRANDPA By Ron Thurman

At eighty-two years old, I thought all I had left to do was wait to die. When I got real sick, the agency sent over a girl to take care of me for a few hours a day. Ginger was one of those real brainy girls who graduated from high school when she was fourteen, got a degree in pre-med by the time she turned eighteen. She was working for the agency to help pay her way through medical school. It was nice having someone to visit with and she wasn't hard to look at, either.

In the course of our conversations, while she worked at getting me back on my feet, I found that she was doing a study on geriatrics for her doctoral thesis. "Hell, that's an easy one," I told her. "Wrinkles are contagious. You catch them from your grandmother when you're a kid. Every kid gets kissed by their grandmother and that's when they get infected. The disease takes about thirty or forty years to show any symptoms. And there you have it."

"What if I told you I didn't have a grandmother?"

"Then you'll stay young and beautiful `till the day you die."

"But what if I kissed you?"

"Why'd you want to go and do a thing like that? You'd be infected for ...

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