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TIME

She wondered why the only time she could feel his love was when he was striking her. When he drew his arm back and struck her bottom with his belt, or with the crop, or even his bare hand, were the times when she knew he loved her. Or when he punished her other ways. She wondered if that is why she was such a pain in the ass sometimes? She needed to feel his love, and she'd get it any way that she could. How fucked up is that? She knew even when she was being disobedient that she'd be punished, somewhere deep inside her head she knew that. Maybe that's why she did the things that she did, and said the things that she said. The only times that she had felt truly happy in a great many years were when she was with him, or when she was writing about him.

She knew the rules, she knew them very well, she just chose to not follow them on certain occasions. Her motivations were known only to her, he didn't take the time to figure them out. And for that he would lose her. And someday, when he looked around his life and saw that there was no one who would love him like she did, he would be sorry. But sometimes money is more important to people than love, as sad as that is, it's still very true.

The first time they had met she had been so scared, so intimidated, so fearful. He had made her feel comfortable and safe, and she gave up to him feelings that she'd never given anyone else before. She'd never ...

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