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Every so often it's a good idea for a man to have a frank conversation with his penis. So much of our lives are governed by the floppy, greedy, one-eyed worm hanging between our legs that an honest discussion about pressing issues can be beneficial for all concerned. I had such a cock-talk early on the morning after I witnessed my mother and Bridget having sex together and I then screwed Bridget's mom Julia as payback. I woke up around 5AM with an erection I could have scored marble with.

"About time you woke up," my dick said. "I've been awake for hours. Suck me."

I sighed. "No."

"You know you want to. Come on, get into that crazy position and put me in your mouth."

"No."

"I promise it won't take long. I'll be spitting the white stuff in you mouth in thirty seconds flat."

"Knock it off, you're making me sick."

My cock throbbed with frustration. "At least jack off, will ya? You ...

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