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He Said As I backed out of the driveway my thoughts began to wonder as to why I was even going out. It was the third Friday of the month, a day that had come to mean, "guys night out" over the Past 10 years. I really had very little desire to go out to a smoky club and listen to a loud band, but hey it was tradition. It seamed like doing anything that was not on the required list of things to get done that day was of little interest to me these days. As the big 4 0 crept closer life had seamed to have lost some, well almost all, of its base excitement. I was still in love with my wife, but after 15 years of marriage that spark was hardly glowing. My kids were great, but life has to be about more than transporting them to sports practice and music lessons, only to listen to them whine about how much more there friends have them. I even still enjoyed my job. I couldn't put my finger on but I was in a bad way. I kept thinking of that line from a John Lennon song, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" Man, was he right on. Here I was a tall, good-looking guy in his late 30's, the prime of my life some might say. Then why was so down all the time?

As I pulled my truck into the bar the lot was already full of cars, mostly cars nicer than mine that were paid for by some back east trust fund, for a kid with dread in his hair and 2.2 GPA. So I found a spot in the back and locked it up and headed in for the nights "fun". I had almost come to dread these nights as they were not near as fun as they were 10 years ago. Me and 4 other buddies from college would get together and have a few beers and pretend we were in our twenties, well ...

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