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Early in our marriage, my husband and I would play those silly games. You know the ones.... where you both make a list of people you would be allowed to sleep with, who do you have fantasies about...I remember one night my husband asked me "If you could fuck anyone of your ex lovers, who would it be?"

"Dean"

His head swung around and his eyebrows flew up. "You didn't even think about it!"

"Well, it wasn't a hard choice, he was the best lover I ever had!"

That was the last time we played those games. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and he is not a jealous man, nor have I ever given him reason to be. We have enjoyed a wonderful fulfilling marriage, and until recently, I thought I was completely happy. My husband turned 40 last year, and his sex drive just died. On the other hand, mine was just getting started. I was becoming increasingly frustrated, as our sex life seemed to be dwindling to nothing. All of my girlfriends told me I needed a lover, and it was sounding more and more like a great idea. My husband too made offhand remarks about my needing a "boyfriend" so I'd quit chasing him around the house.

After a particularly frustrating night, where I once again masturbated ...

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