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Bundle of Joy

By Air Borden

As I closed my car door and stepped toward my house, a small voice cracked like leather on an old saddle called out, "Air, you've got a package over here."

"Thanks, Mrs. Taylor. I'll be over in just a minute."

I carried my satchel into the house and picked up a envelop of photographs I'd just gotten developed the day before. My elderly neighbor, Sue Taylor, would enjoy seeing the images, so it would be a way of repaying her generosity.

My wife and I shop online sometimes. If the deliveryman comes while we're both out of the house, Mrs. Taylor will tell the driver to just leave the box with her for safekeeping.

I tried to remember what I might have bought recently that would be in the package. An eBay item? Or, a gift for somebody? That's it! Then I blushed. Sitting in a cardboard box in this sweet, little old lady's house was a box of, ahem, "marital aids" that I compiled for me and my wife: assorted toys (two or three needing batteries), massage oil and flavored body lubricant. ...

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