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"I can't remember all the times I've tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass" - Counting Crows

I looked around the room, letting my mind wander as Sheila animatedly described the exact measurements of her boyfriend Rick's body. A fire crackled in the fireplace, shot glasses and a half-empty bag of potato chips littered the carpet, and a game of poker lay forgotten on the table. It was past ten o' clock and we'd exhausted videos, cards, and music and had moved onto drinking games. Truth or dare was in full swing, with Josh having just asked everyone to describe their first time.

Listening to their stories, it struck me as odd how detailed and precise they were. When I think about my first time, I remember everything in fuzzy images, in light and shadow, with undefined hazy thoughts and powerful feelings that seem as real today as they did at the time. To hear the others talk, you'd think they were describing a precise surgical or mathematical operation instead of an intense emotional experience.

It was New Year's Eve again. We'd come full circle after a whole year and were sitting in the same cabin, surrounded by the same friends - and a similarly obscene amount of alcohol - playing the same silly games. And yet, so much was different. In the course of the past twelve months, I'd turned nineteen, I'd completed another year of ...

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