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IN HER FACE

By Peter Handler

I have become good friends with my next-door neighbor Dan over the past few months, and we recently shared an experience that I would like to share with you. Dan is a good-looking, gregarious guy with a great sense of humor. Unfortunately, he has been through some tough times lately. A month or so after he and his wife moved in, she filed for divorce and got everything he owned except the house, which was mortgaged to the hilt. At about the same time, my wife returned to her native country of France to tend to her ailing parents. She still hasn't returned, and that is fine with me. I don't care if she ever comes back. What a bitch!

Dan and I began spending a lot of time together. I felt sorry for the guy, and tried my best to cheer him up. We went to Bears games and went charter boat fishing on Lake Michigan. When we weren't doing something special, we either went to a tavern for a few cold ones or stayed at home watching TV and bitching about our wives.

One night we were watching a hot porno tape that I had rented that day. It was one of the raunchiest things I had ever seen. A roomful of more than a hundred guys watched a chick masturbate with a dildo, and then went forward to jack off in her face and mouth. ...

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