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Loosing Cynthia - Part 2 of 2

At her Worst Behavior Additional note following Craig's discovery:

"I wanted to give him some idea of what I was capable so he would feel freer to take sexual liberty or push me a little more."

Those of you who have been following my story may wonder how in the world I could possibly bottle up the extreme sexual promiscuity that seemed to rule my life in high school and college, especially since there was such a strong link to unfaithfulness in my relationship with Craig. If I showed such weakness to sexual temptation, why didn't I literally radiate a predilection to moral vulnerability that would have been like a red flag in a bullfighting arena to any predatory male walking the street? After all, hadn't I already proved how easily I could be seduced by anyone with an inclination to get into my panties?

During the drive from Helena after the holidays, I lay on the front seat with my head next to the passenger door and rested as I listened to the droning of the tires. I couldn't stop the vacillation between thinking of the good things I hoped would be with Craig and the memory of the wicked things I seemed to attract whenever I turned around. Even as I lay there I hoped that I was revealing my legs and shapely rear to Craig, and that he would notice and take liberties with me confidence.

...

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