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I woke up Saturday morning, another night of not getting laid- it was killing me. As I made my drive to the gym I made a pact with myself that I would bring back some hot bitch to my phat bachelors crib tonight for some hot lovin. After the nasty breakup I had endured not two weeks ago I was ready to be back on the prowl. My dick was sick of my left hand and all my porno tapes were overplayed. I needed a real woman with a real wet pussy that I would just fuck, just really fuck.

Knowing my current mission it was time to make a few phone calls. I had to make plans with some other good-looking guys. It always helps to pick up women when you are with other good looking guys. All that bullshit about going out with ugly friends so everybody wants you instead of them... it is just that: bullshit.

After making plans with my good ol' drinkin buddies Gavin and Joque it was time to fake and bake, wash the sheets, and go buy some candles, flavored lube, and a fresh vibrator. I often prided myself on the way I was able to coax women into acting out their naughty fantasies with me. It is truly amazing what some candlelight and a battery operated 7" piece of plastic can do!

Driven up to the newest hot spot, Club Decco, I was pimpin it in my sleek blue Lexus, Gavin and Joque rolled up in an Escalade. After waiting in line for no more than five minutes thanks to our charm, goodlooks, and fat wallets, we walked into what seemed like a wet ...

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