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Episode III Of the Adventures of John and Holly

Part 33: Falling

Holly:

I was sitting down at a small table by the window, looking out into the street. I had my cup of tea that I sipped on sporadically. My thoughts couldn't escape the situation with Jack. I don't know what to do. I like him, he is a nice guy. But he loves me, or thinks he loves me. If I break it off with him he will be crushed, if I tell him I don't love him he will be crushed. If I just don't address the issue, just avoid talking about it, then I won't have to break his heart, I don't think he will let me though. But if I keep stringing this along, if I keep letting him believe that I like him, then it will just hurt him more when I do break it off. He is so cute; he has an innocence that I can't get past. Maybe I am suppressing some feelings for him. What if I do have feelings for him, but I subconsciously destroy them because I want to be faithful to John. Is that wrong? Is that fair to Jack? But no, no, I don't love Jack. Is it wrong for me to entertain the idea of loving Jack? Is that being unfaithful to John? It's hard to know where the lines are drawn in the relationship we have. It isn't wrong for me to have sex with someone, and its not wrong for him to have sex with someone, but emotional attachment is wrong. Why do we have to put these limitations on ourselves? Why can't I be attached to more than one man? ...

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