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God, I am nervous.

Logically, there is no reason for me to be. I know I can always change my mind; after all, he doesn't even know that I have chosen tonight to be our first night to make love. We have known each other for close to two years; have been completely inseparable for the past ten months. And I have never felt quite ready to take that final step in our relationship.

I am eighteen years old; he is several years older. He was not a virgin when we met - not by a long shot. I, on the other hand, had never been French-kissed before that day. We met at my friend's birthday party; his cousin had dragged him there. I have never been comfortable with large crowds, and had decided to take a break, standing off to the side of the makeshift dance floor. As I was nursing a drink, I heard a voice call out, "If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me?" Despite myself, I began laughing. We started to talk. Two hours later, he had me pressed against the back wall of the house, kissing my lips, my face, my neck and collarbone, everywhere he could reach without disheveling me too much.

After that, I did not want to see him again - I was simply afraid. He was too attractive; he aroused feelings that I was sure could only spell trouble for a sixteen-year-old girl. He was twenty-one, a senior in the local college, blatantly sexy and masculine, with most of his ...

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