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All day today I've felt so......awkward! I haven't been so "boy crazy" since I was a teenager, for God's sake!! It would be easy to blame it on the nice weather, but in truth, this started months ago. At first, I just thought you were funny, kind of cute, a little weird. But somehow you weaseled your way into my thoughts.

Pretty soon, I'd lay in bed thinking about you. I wondered what the people who know you call you (since the people where I met you always call you by your last name), I wondered what your mother calls you, what your relationship is like with your mother, whether you have a nice family......I wondered what you smell like, how you kiss, what your hands would feel like on my skin......

I wondered what it would be like if we were to make love......how it would happen, what you would say, what I would say, how it would feel......and by that point I was well beyond thoughts of sleep!

Soon, I was thinking about you every night, and every morning when I woke up. I'd relive the conversations we'd have, the way you'd look at me, the way I felt just being around you. And frankly, I started wondering if this was more than just a healthy crush.

So I tried to limit myself - not stop to see you quite as often, not to spend as much time when I did. But it didn't make the feelings go away. So forgive me for reading into our latest conversation. ...

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