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All those stupid, sad, desperate love songs were playing in my head and I was getting sick of it, very sick. I hate those songs, but, because of what you've done to me, I guess I need to be reminded of the fact that it doesn't happen only to me. Those love songs were the symbol of that. You hurt me so bad I can't even cry. And the funny part is, you don't even realize it.

I know it's stupid to fall for your best friend, but I didn't choose to, I didn't even wanted to, for I knew and still know you're as straight as they come. Sometimes you even seem a little homophobe. But the fact is, I fell as deep as possible. You made me feel save and exited at the same time. The hug we shared every time we saw each other was the happiest moment of my week. To enclose your body with mine, to burry my nose in your hair. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. When your boyfriend broke up with you, I let you cry on my shoulder. I never expected you to back again, but you did. And again you broke up, and again you cried on my shoulder and again you went back. I was amazed, how, for Gods sake, could you go back to that fucked up asshole, who had told you so bluntly your parents were not good enough. I wonder, how can you be good enough if your parents, who made you, aren't? Must be my naivety.

Now it's time to put myself over it, for it has been about six months of feeling depressed. I need to go on. So I decided to go out tonight. I wasn't really feeling for it, but I was not going to sit here whining any longer either. ...

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