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Once, there was a boy and a girl. Before they were born, the Gods thought they would have some fun, and did their once in a thousand year joke. The Gods are famous for their once in a thousand year jokes. Y'see, every thousand years, the Gods make the best match between man and woman for that thousand years, and then they do every thing in their power, which is considerable, to make sure that the match of the millennium cannot ever happen. This is their idea of a joke. And when I say, "the best match", I mean just that, if this man and woman were ever to actually meet, it would be the human equivalent of Ms. gasoline saying hello to Mr. fire.

Before we tell you how the Gods were thwarted (and how they were not), we should probably tell you their idea of the dream match. The woman is crucial-she is the key. The Gods have known since the dawn of time that women can fall in love with even the ugliest of men, but, for there to be a dream match, the woman is key. She must have all of the following qualities to even be considered for the job:

-A face that is one in 26,457-(the Gods are VERY precise)

-She must smell like spring rain

-Her hair must be in the top 1% of all women

-She HAS to have a head on her shoulders ...

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