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"Jan! Jan, over here please." Gwen Tolliver bounced up and down in her attempt the attract notice of her best-selling author. She grasped Jan's elbow and pulled her to the photographers area. "The photographers would like to take some photos of you and the awards."

"Congratulations again, who'd have thought we'd end up here? I hope you appreciate that you truly do deserve this. Let's look at you and make sure everything's in place." Gwen fussed with Jan's appearance and gave her an appreciative wink. "You look great...I have to ask, have you had "work" done. I mean you are just glowing, you look spectacular. I know, you have some young stud stashed in that room next to your suite - nothing like the stamina of a hot young man. Jan...Jan?"

Jan didn't answer her long-time friend and editor. Jan wasn't just miles away, she was years away - 20 years away to be specific. Twenty years ago Jan had a torrid affair with a man sixteen years her junior. The affair - her one and only infidelity - transformed her view of herself as a woman.

Twenty one years ago Jan Matheson was dying. Outwardly she was in great shape for a woman facing forty. Inwardly though, she was dying, the three great tracks of her life; wife, mother, and teacher, seemed to be headed for dead-ends.

Maybe that was an exaggeration, she loved her husband Matt and knew that ...

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