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--- Chapter 1 - The Early Futility ---

Life is odd, in a lot of ways. Throughout high school, I was never really popular with the girls. I was an average-looking kid with pretty decent grades. Though I made the basketball team, the best I ever did on that team was the 6th man. Not bad for a white guy, but not great. Sports mattered a lot at our school and any team's starters were big stars.

I never did get a girl during those years, though I tried a couple of times. Each time, I was met with failure and it just pushed be back further into my cocoon. The first time, I was 15 years old. I had had my eye on this girl Nadia, who was also pretty average looking. What I liked about her was that she was so kind to everyone. She had this ability to know how people were feeling and what was on their mind, which made her sort of the unofficial counsellor of everyone at school. Call me odd, but I thought that kind of a genuine personality was very sexy. I'd always been an intellectual, but also a closet romantic.

After a few weeks of psychological preparation, my buddy Kareem from the basketball team finally convinced me to ask Nadia. Kareem was our shooting guard and he had the best 3-point shot in the entire state. He was a star, and he had no fear when it came to girls. That wasn't the case for me. So I waited for the end of 4th period, and walked up to her at her locker. I then told her flat out that I liked her and wanted ...

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