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The seaplane kissed the waves with all the grace and style of my old Aunt Mildred when she ever she came visit; rough, wet and with a big thump!

Still, we lived to get to park the plane on the beach outside the village of Pakemoana, and caused all the local kids to drop everything and rush down to the waters edge.

Yes, here I was for my biennial visit to the seductive south Pacific, a solid month of being by myself, living off the land away from all those rotten modern forms of torture; cell phones, email, call centres in India, yadda, yadda, yadda.

You see, I had an arrangement with the Chief that let me have the use of a small island in their group that was uninhabited but for an old witch doctor sort of character and I had grown rather fond of him over the ten or so years that I had been having this adventure.

My gear was unpacked from the plane in due course (island time has between 45 and 240 minutes to an hour) and was packed in small hut in readiness for transfer to the island tomorrow.

As was custom, one of the bags was not locked and the kids took huge delight in pulling out the contents and fighting like tomcats on heat of the spoils. These consisted books, pencils, footballs, cricket ...

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