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You know, there are times when trying to be funny can get you in deep trouble and this turned out to be one of those times.

I should start out by telling you that I am 36, reasonably well built, 36C-26-34. I've got shoulder length auburn hair, gray-green eyes, and a smooth, tanned complexion. I'm not a workout fanatic, but I get to the club as often as I can and all that work keeps me firm and lean. I've been told my ass is so hard I could break rocks with it. At 5'11, my legs are my pride and joy, sleek and shapely and ready to rock.

There's only one small problem. With that body, you'd think I'd be on my back a lot and at one time, that might have been so, even though I was never promiscuous. After being used hard and put away dirty on one-too-many occasions, I have a piss poor attitude when it comes to the opposite sex. My last sexual encounter had been at a birthday party for a friend of mine at one of the local clubs, and it had ended with me being drunk off my ass, and bent over a pool table while I was fucked in the ass by at least two or three guys. I was so drunk I didn't even care.,

My troubles continued a few weeks later, when we were out again. I had a few, maybe one or two too many, but I wasn't drunk at all. Terry Duncan, a fellow employee in his early fifties, had been joking around with several of us about getting it on when one of the guys made some snide comment about him being too old to get it up, and I said it ...

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