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Percy and his bedroom mates arose at 7:00 am, roused from sleep by the House of Femina's surround-sound speaker system which, at a slowly-increasing volume, played the Johnny Mathis hit "Chances Are," until it could no longer be ignored.

For Percy and the other new students who'd arrived the night before, it would their first official day at Genital Warts College of Witchery. They would be meeting the faculty members who'd be teaching them for the trimester, and that is how each young man would find out what courses had been assigned to him. Notes were magically floating in mid-air next to each bed; only the times and office numbers were identified. They had an hour to shower, dress, eat breakfast, and make it to their first "appointment," so Percy and the others shed their nightgowns and hurried into the combined shower/sink/toilet room designated for their bedroom area.

Floor, ceiling and walls were tiled in a pale pink, with the exception of one wall that was really just one giant mirror. The four porcelain toilet bowls (no urinals) and sinks were a more intensely-colored "hot pink," as were all the towels and washcloths, and the entire facility smelled of lavender. Though the room was quite large, there were only two silver shower nozzles protruding from the wall opposite the toilet bowls. Each was shaped like a long, downward-curving flaccid penis, below which hung, from two white ropes, rose-tinted oval "soap bars" shaped like large testicles. A sign on the wall between the shower ...

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