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Joaquin Estates - Chapter Onethis story is part of the FanClub (fm:one-on-one, 2143 words) [1/4] show all parts

Author: Amaretta Picture in profile
Added: Dec 31 2006Views / Reads: 1500 / 899 [60%]Part vote: 8.75 (4 votes)
A new girl moves into the neighborhood and sets off a chain reaction. Chapter 2 is in the works, so please give constructive criticism to make Chapter 2 better.
 


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There was nothing extraordinary about Carmelita Jones. She was anything but extraordinary. She was not even that attractive. She weighed about 250 pounds, had honey-caramel colored skin, with thick, full lips, a short button nose and dark brown eyes. Her naturally black hair was colored a medium brown color and was fashioned in reddish brown twists on her head. She never wore make-up and usually wore baggy jeans with oversized, torn or discolored shirts. She drove an black 2000 Dodge Ram truck with all the factory basics. The only really attractive thing about her was her smile--which was full of warmth. Other than that, she wasn't worth much of a first glance. Yet and still she caused a stir on Farimont Avenue in the Joaquin Estates subdivision. She had moved into the house previously occupied by the Nelson couple; a power couple that were the epitome of conservative political thought. All the neighbors keep to themselves and rarely spoke with each other unless it had to do with business or making changes in their little hamlet. All that changed when Carmelita Jones moved into the upscale neighborhood.

Jim Caldwell noticed her the first morning she moved in. He was sitting in his 2006 silver Land Rover, checking all of his mirrors when he spotted her coming outside in her thick blue terry cloth robe and no shoes. That was nothing new for him since most of the women on the block did the same, but there was something about the way Carmelita looked that kept him entranced by the sight of her. As far as he could see she had no makeup on and she was oblivious to her surroundings. ...

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