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I had found him through a friend of a friend of a friend. He didn't look like much when we met in Starbucks to discuss particulars. In fact he didn't look at all like what I wanted.

"So, how did you settle on this?" he asked me.

"It was a costume party," I answered. "I hadn't, you know, been much interested in—turned on by—anything until then, and . . ."

"Well, you look mighty fine to me," he said. "Surely you've gotten offers by real studs."

"Yeah, but this was different," I said. I was, of course, flattered by what he was saying, but he didn't turn me on at all—a bit on the rangy side and more hippy like than authoritarian—so it really was kind of a waste of breath. In fact, this whole idea—this obsession—seemed a waste of breath and effort now that I'd actually moved to do something about it. Perhaps it was just as well. Maybe the obsession would die as quickly as it had been born. But it hadn't died yet. I still melted at the mere thought of it.

"As I was saying," I continued, "I was at this party and several of the guys were beefy and were in uniforms and that really got to me. And then they got a little rough, and that got to me even more." I stopped there. ...

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