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"You got it all mixed up. This country, first you gotta get the money. Then you get the power. And, when you got the power, then you get the women. And then, Chico, you got the world by the balls."

—Scarface

My father likes to fancy himself a modern day philosopher. One of his favorite hobbies is collecting quotes and peppering his daily conversation with Confucian-like bits of advice, some of which never end up making sense. It used to drive me crazy until I figured out he was yanking my chain. It seems he gathers his sayings on scraps of paper and mixes them together to form new expressions like one of those children's ad lib games. The results sound deep and meaningful, but aren't much beyond gibberish. The fun, he says, is watching his audience weigh the result. Or, better yet, agree with his insight.

When he's not composing phony parables, I do listen to him. He's been around more blocks in life than a half-price hooker and knows what he's talking about, especially when it comes to business. A good example is some advice he passed on at my law school graduation party: Avoid career limiting moves, Jack. Mistakes come in all sizes and it's seldom the big ones that ruin a man.

Indeed, the simple stuff can be the most dangerous, like asking the boss about his lovely wife, only to remember their divorce was finalized the ...

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