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Wishbone: The Slutty Professor by The Sympathetic Devil

Dr. Elise Chen was reviewing her notes for her 10 o'clock lecture when there was a knock at her door. Her office hours were in the afternoon and she had decided to ignore the knock when suddenly she felt an urgent need to answer it.

There was one of her students in the 10 o'clock class...Fisher something...or maybe something Fisher. Beside him was a blonde woman in a pink sweater that was much too small for her enormous chest. They were both smiling, the blonde rather stupidly and possibly drunkenly. Except for the hair, chest, and expression, she strongly resembled Dr. Chen's teaching assistant Lori.

"Can I help you? We have class in 10 minutes," Dr. Chen said pointedly.

"I know," said Fisher. "That's why we brought you the whiskey."

"What?" asked Dr. Chen, completely baffled and beginning to loose her temper.

"I wish you would forget that whiskey makes you drunk and instead believe that it makes you smarter and that you need to drink it before you give a lecture," said Fisher.

...

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