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What a strange place to be in, I constantly wonder why I do the things I do. I think that at my age I should know my own mind by now. I may know many things, good experinces and bad but I actually wonder what I have learned. It seems to me more involved you are with someone the more you learn about yourself instead. Now I would think that normally we learn about that other person, but really we know only as much as they let us.

Although I want to know everything about him he reveals things to me slowly. Almost as if he is not sure if he should. I have come to accept his strange pattern of needed closeness then pulling away. It's a strange dance to me as my moods are constant and even. It is safe to say I want him most days.

I have heard it before from other lovers, that little comment here and there about how I tend to be always in the mood for it. There are times like the other day when my lover said it, that I worried just a bit. Does he think I'm a bit of a whore because when he calls me I want too? I brush it off, but that good girl, bad girls question hangs in the back of my head. I wonder why he doesn't understand that it is he that makes me feel this way.

Most of the time sex to me was all about the play. As much touching, kissing and fooling around before the big event the better. I really enjoyed a lover that takes his time but at the same time shows much ...

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