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I remember as a teenager, having those lewd thoughts about other men. Wondering what another man's cock felt like, tasted like. There was a period of a couple of years where I would jerk off frequently thinking about that. The problem was that I lived in a very conservative home. I was in the burbs on Long Island. I had no access to porn or anything that may have enlightened me on gay activities or places to meet other guys. On top of that, I am just a very naïve person. So, I grew up, found a girl, got married, and those thoughts of other men faded from my mind.

Life rolled on, we had a daughter, I received a promotion that moved us to Massachusetts. I would occasionally have those thoughts about other men and sex, but jerking off seemed to satisfy that. My daughter went off to college, life at home was happy, but sex had become less and less frequent. I still don't think that pushed me so much as a natural curiosity about men. It really escalated a few weeks before my 48th birthday. It was early June and we were experiencing some very nice weather. I was on an installation in Providence, RI. Things were going extremely well and I was way ahead of schedule. On Friday afternoon, I was at a point where I needed materials from the customer. They were not ready as I was so far ahead of things. So, I decided to take a walk. It was just after 11AM. I was walking around, not having spent much time in Providence, just checking things out. I came upon an adult bookstore. I had never been in one before, so I decided it might be fun to check it out. I entered a well lit store with racks of magazines and ...

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