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On one of the last two days of my 2-week Spanish holiday, and what with the weather being somewhat gloomy, compared to the rest of my trip, I decided to buy presents for my folks back home in England; Malibu for my dad, pink Cinzano for mum, and a couple of erotic videos for Max, my lover. What with the laws regarding sexually explicit videos, that meant I had to smuggle them through British customs.

Although I had no worries as I breezed through Spanish immigration, when we neared London, Gatwick, my heart started beating faster. ‘Calm down, Sonia, get a grip,' I said to myself. Thankfully, by the time we landed, I had. ‘Right girl, shoulders back, chest out, act normal,' I minded myself, and went to collect my luggage.

Heading towards the ‘nothing to declare' section, I suddenly became more confident as I approached it, and that's, no doubt, where I went wrong. Noticing the change in demeanour on my face, a young looking customs officer stepped out from behind his desk, and, gesticulating with his finger, directed me over.

"Just a routine question, miss," Geoff, being the name on his badge, started to say. "Do you have anything you wish to declare?"

Swallowing for a second, I rejoined: "Can we go somewhere private and do this?" (not wanting to be publicly embarrassed).

...

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