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"What do you think?" I ask Lucy, looking at the drab walls of the flat we both share.

"Could do with some paint and wallpaper, Julie," she tells me. "Then, there are our bedrooms, which haven't seen much action (sex wise) in the last couple of months," she despondently adds.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, girlfriend," I glumly agree, with my hands resting back of my hips, while Lucy stands, almost dejected, with her arms folded.

"I'm ashamed to bring anyone back, it's that bad," I morosely say.

"Neither of us are DIY's, let alone paint and decorating, so what do you suggest?" Lucy proffers.

"I definitely don't want some cowboy's messing it up. And, since we both do allright earnings wise, what say we get an interior designer in?" I suggest.

"Yeah, I like that, good idea," she extols, with a cheery tone. And so I thumb through the yellow pages and call several prospective businesses, settling on the one that provides a free appraisal.

Like we said, we hadn't had sex in over two months, and neither of us ...

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