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My Room Mate Jamie Michaels "Blueberry pancakes?," Josh asked, smiling across the tiny kitchen. "No, got to run, there's probably not enough for three anyway," I shot back, emphasizing the word three.

"Sure there is," Josh put down the bowl and walked toward me. "It's Jena isn't it?" I stood silently wanting to blurt out I love you damnit! wanting to throw my arms around him and hold him forever. I wanted to kiss his lips as he stood there in his boyish innocence, tousled blond hair, bare feet and boxer shorts. I just mumbled foolishly.

"No, I'm really not hungry and I'll be late for class, see you tonight, " using a well timed pause..."if you're here." I was out the door before I felt the first tear work its way down my cheek. I knew it wasn't right to treat my best friend this way and I felt badly, but I just couldn't confront him with how I felt.

Josh and I grew up together in small town USA attending elementary, middle and high school together, graduating year before last. It only seemed natural to move in together since neither of us had a good job and both were trying to attend college. Of course I had an ulterior motive; I wanted to be close to Josh and maybe, just maybe I could finally get into those pants of his.

We were alike, but both so different, I played clarinet in the school band while Josh was the star quarterback. I was good in academics, but ...

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