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1993: I was 22. I had got a new job and I was leaving my old one, and with it all the friends I had made there. One particular friend was Derek. He was ten or eleven years older than me and single. He was quite good looking, but it was more than that. He listened to me. My boyfriends had all been my age or younger. I did have a boyfriend called Rob, he was 21 and a young 21, still at Uni on the south coast, so I only saw him every other weekend.

Derek had had quite a lot of girlfriends it seemed, and some of them were REALLY FCUKING SPECTACULAR, but they all seemed to have got pissed off with playing second fiddle, as it were, to his guitars, and they'd each in turn left him. Nowadays, I would like to have fucked one of two of THEM. Ooh - I have faked one of them (much more recently) , come to think of it, though in those days I was 100% hetero, and actually a good(ish) girl....

Derek and I had barely kissed before this night, bar hello and goodbye kisses. I had been round to his house many times, but it was as friends. He loved to cook, and did so well. Having said that we'd talked about sex, but not about us having sex. I used to press him for snippets about his sex life, and there was quite a lot to talk about! He did try to be discreet, but I'd wheedle little details out of him.

This particular night I was having a leaving do, at Liberty's on the Hagley Road in Birmingham, and I had a room booked at the Strathallan ...

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