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It was almost 5:00 P.M on a Friday, the end of a long week, and I was ready to go home. I stared across the desk at my best friend Mark who had been camped out in my office for at least the last half-hour. He had that unmistakable gleam in his eye that I'd seen so many times before. The one telling me he wasn't going to give up, no matter what I said.

"Okay, like what else are you going to do?" he asked, obviously frustrated that I wasn't backing down.

"Sit at home and spank the monkey," I replied.

"C'mon, you've spanked that monkey so many times he probably can't sit down."

"Yeah, but I can lift a car with my right arm, how 'bout you?"

He laughed. "Alright, level with me; how long has it been since you've been on a date with a woman?"

"This isn't a date we're talking about, Mark."

"No, but it's a step in the right direction. Susan has assured me that the guest list will be well stocked with single women."

...

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