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Endorphins are a natural pain reliever. They reduce stress and they make you happier. This is what my girlfriend told me last month in her push to get me to start exercising. She would post articles about longevity on my Facebook wall. Men's Health started arriving at our apartment under her name. She did everything but call me a fat slob who sits in front of the computer shedding sexiness with every mouse click.

So now we go to the gym twice a week, hike on Saturdays, bike on Sundays. Miserable doesn't describe it, and I'm waiting for those endorphins to start making me feel good as promised. It was one of those Saturdays when we were 3 miles deep into the Sawtooth Mountains, breathing fresh Rocky Mountain air. At least she was breathing it. I was wheezing it. And then we saw Joanna.

Sitting on the trail ahead of us, holding her ankle and wincing, was a devastatingly hot brunette. Scanning up from her ankle I saw two smooth, toned, tan legs. She was wearing spandex shorts that showed off every curve and contour. Her chest was heaving as she breathed through the pain of her injury, pushing her blue sports bra out of her gray tank top with every pulse. She probably had some sizable C breasts under that bra but this was not the time to ogle women, she needed help!

Jen, my girlfriend, ran up to her and I ambled up. Joanna gestured to a mountain bike 5 feet off the trail. She was on her way down, slipped, ...

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