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Jim's Barthis story is part of the FanClub (fm:one-on-one, 1443 words)

Author: Roy G Bef
Added: Apr 13 2019Views / Reads: 1212 / 740 [61%]Story vote: 8.36 (11 votes)
I work the bars in town, trying to find a girlfriend. I even go overboard.
 


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Once upon a time I used to work my way through Jim's Bar in Carbondale, IL, with a small paper bag full of apples under my arm. I'd take out an apple and ask a lovely lassie,

-Would you like an apple?

One in ten would say,

-Sure.

I'd give her an apple and then I'd ask,

-Would you like to sleep with me?

-At four in the afternoon?

So I switched to later in the day.

-Would you like an apple? Would you like to sleep with me?

Then I'd simply get my apple back, sometimes with a bite taken out of it. Sometimes with the bite, back, too.

Once upon a time in the Midwest I'd work my way through Jim's bar around closing time with an apple in my hand. ...

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