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Deepest Desires 12.

By nature, I am not the sort of person that analyses everything in minute detail, Jim does enough of that for both of us. But now and again, if something extremely emotional arises that I have to give serious thought to, I've discovered that I'm not good at making quick decisions, because, to begin with, I'm too emotional to make a rational choice.

Of course, I was stunned when Jim admitted that my best friend may (or may not) actually have a crush on me, or worst still might want me to have lesbian sex with her. My first reaction was blind fear. "What if she tried to come onto me? How would I react? What would I say or do?".

At first, I went into self-defence mode. I tried to think of a way to handle it, if Sheila tried to kiss me or even if she just tried to raise the subject. Yet, I've noticed throughout my life that I handle things better once there is a cold detachment to them.

The first week was about fear and what could happen if things went horribly wrong, yet eight days after Jim confessed to me that Sheila and Paul fantasised about Sheila having lesbian sex with me, my thoughts became more focused as I felt less emotion and more rational, by the end of that week, I finally had most of the answers I was ...

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