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Feeld Me Out

That threw me off. Never had I thought I'd get to this point. It started with downloading a new dating app. Heard it was a kinky app created in San Francisco, and I was getting desperate. The profile section wasn't typical like Bumble, Hinge or Tinder. Immediately, it started asking my gender type I was and my sexual preference.

Red flags. Alarm bells was ringing continuously but I kept on. My goal was to get H an Asian girl. I'd been trying for a month, to the point of watching YouTube videos of a hot guy who promised results from online dating — a how-to cheat sheet or individual consults on the best ways to catch the attention of girls online. Even the nerds and big boys can get laid.

Yeah. I'd dropped that far.

I strongly believed he was punishing me.

Who?

H, aka my husband. This was at the start of our open relationship and I was getting thousands of likes and matches but he wasn't. Granted this would make anyone frustrated but with his strict criteria of not showing his face, name or occupation, I didn't know how I was supposed to help.

He took pics of me to post on dating apps which caught the eyes of thousands of horny homo-sapiens. So now it was my turn to help him find the girls.

"You're a girl. You should know how they think," H said once.

"But I'm not like them." I pouted. "I don't play hard to get." Us versus them. I wasn't a normal girl.

"You're right. You're like a horny teenage boy," H replied.

"Hahaha. Very funny."

"The guys have it easy. You tell them what you want. No need to second guess," he said.

True. I was a diamond in a haystack where if the vibe and the guy were my type, I was ready to play a little in that haystack. Carpe diem Milfy.

When we began our solo sexy journey, neither of us knew that Asian men were down the totem pole in dating apps, with the crazy ratios of 10:1 guys to girls, H's visibility was close to NIL.

Don't get me wrong. H is a total catch. A hot MILF like me only picked the best to breed. He was as perfect a guy any woman would wish for. The only flaw was, he was married, and he was married to a gorgeous, hot, talented woman whom he would proudly talk about.

Women have egos too. Even if the guy you meet is tall, handsome, friendly, and well-put together with an awesome career, no woman wants to be in second place. Didn't help that H was telling stories of our yolo adventures and especially about my meet-ups with men twenty years younger than I.

Because of that, three women asked to meet me, and another formed a naughty crush.

"She wants to see you," H said one day.

"What? Who?" H was chatting with a curvy Korean American woman with big boobs. Recently divorced with kids, and ready to meet someone new and get down and dirty. "Why?"

"She thinks you're cool. I gave the other woman, the artist, your number too," he said.

"Why?" I shook my head. "Please don't talk about me. I don't want to

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