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Among the first things I did when I took over the travel agency was to convince other cruise lines to consider Mobile as a base for their Caribbean cruises. In my letter, I explained that the market was there and my agency would do all we could to promote their cruise line.

In one instance the CEO of a big cruise line came to Mobile to see our docking facilities. He was in his late forties. I didn't care; he could make my agency a lot of money. He wasn't a great pussy eater, but I think he was impressed with the fucking and blowjob I gave him. It didn't hurt that Gretchen, one of my agents fucked him, too.

I don't think it was Gretchen or me, but within a year, three more cruise lines were sending ships out of Mobile. I hired two more agents and an office manager.

My agents, all women had the perk of travelling three or four times a year on free cruises. Gretchen, who was divorced, came back from one cruise walking on air. At lunch one day, we quizzed her, "Gretch, how was the cruise?"

We were expecting her to tell us about the ports, the excursions, the food. "Ladies, I have to tell you, the cruise director, Giovanni, was the most amazing man ever."

I knew what she meant. I was happy for her. Damn, that man could eat.

As for me the agency owner, the various cruise lines sent me offers all the time. I had to pick and choose where I'd like to go. This was long before the internet. It went something like this, "Dear Lurleen: We could not be happier with the relationship between our company and yours. Next month, we have a cabin available on a fourteen-day cruise to the Eastern Mediterranean and the Greek Islands, please be our guest."

As I said, if it wasn't the Greek Islands, it was Scandinavia or the British isles or Asia.

Sure, I wanted to see all these places and make recommendations to our clients, but as you know, I was searching for the best pussy eaters. My ex-husband, Bobby Joe had been amazing, and Giovanni raised the bar. Would I find a Greek man who could compare?

I didn't find him on that cruise nor the next one. I tried; oh, I tried. Sometimes, like Giovanni, it was a member of the crew, other times it was another travel agent, other times it was a local guide who the cruise line hired for a few days in a port or two. Sometimes a passenger.

Sometimes the fucking was good and sometimes it wasn't so good. It was the pussy eating that I was interested in. Sometimes it was good, sometimes non-existent. Sadly, sometimes, it was lousy, which was far worse than non-existent.

One cruise line offered me a cruise to Hawai'i. I thought about going and looking up Bobby Joe. I was hesitant. Maybe he was happily married. I was certain that if he ate his new wife like he ate me, she was a very happy woman. Doing some checking, I found that my old friend Giovanni was the cruise director. "Hey, Gretch, want to go to Hawai'i?"

Ever since her week-long affair with Giovanni, she'd been tracking his cruise line and when he'd be cruise director. She knew exactly what I was saying.

She smiled, "sure. Lurleen, you're the best boss ever. No one has the kind of benefits you give us."

Two days later, "Lurleen, I was able to call Giovanni and told him I'd be on his Hawai'ian cruise." Then she whispered, "I told Giovanni, it was all his whenever he was free of his official duties." I knew exactly what ‘it' was. She had stars in her eyes in anticipation.

Maybe because I live in the west that I assumed that the best lovers were French or Italian men. I never thought of Asian men as good lovers or even handsome. Then on an Asian cruise I met Mr. Satja Somsri, a

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