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couldn’t tell. It was impressive though.
“Heart Rate is a little high, darlin. Are you feeling okay? Nerves??” she asked.
“Sure, let’s go with that.” I tried to laugh it off.
She stood and started to move around me. “Okay, we’ll check it again in a few minutes.”
It’s not going to help, I thought. She listened to breath sounds from the front…from the back… back to the front. God, I hope she can’t hear what I’m thinking. She checked my eyes, ears, and nose, then walked to the other side of the room to gather supplies. She bent forward just a little to get something from the drawer. It may have been my imagination, but I’m pretty sure she wiggled her butt.
I smiled, which she probably would have caught as she turned back around if not for a big yawn that overtook her. It was one of those big, early morning yawns, combined with a huge stretch. Her hands went up, elbows pressed back as she squeezed the muscles of her upper back and simultaneously pressed her very impressive chest forwards. Tripple D…Damn.
“Goodness,” he said with a second yawn and a little shutter.
“Ahhhhhh.” I said, as she held my tongue down and looked down my throat.
“Okay, let’s check that pulse again.” Mel took my wrist and found my pulse. We sat in silence for 20 seconds as she counted and watched the sweep hand on her I-Watch. Personally, I thought it was funny that despite all the power in that little contraption, she was using it to display analog clock face on it’s digital screen. It’s not going to be lower…I can guarantee it.
”Hmm… still high. We’re going to have to work on that.” Mel made some notes and rolled back away from me on her stool. She crossed her left knee over her right then leaned forward. “Charlie… can you promise not to get me sick, if I take this mask off?”
“I will absolutely do my best to not get you sick.”
Mel smiled as she pulled the ear loops off, then flipped her hair back behind her shoulders and behind her ears. “I hate these things.” My God…that smile was more amazing than I thought. Never had the hots for my doctor before…probably a good motivator to keep me coming back.
We sat in silence for a few minutes as she looked over the forms from the waiting room. Well, I sat silently…she had a few Okay’s, I see’s, and one “explains a lot” that I was unsure how to take.
“Ohh…didn’t have time to get to page 3, huh?”
“No. I figured I’d have the customary 30 minute wait past my appointment time to fill out paper work, but you were right on time.”
“We try…well, I try. Your time is important—I want to respect that. Let’s just go over a few of them, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
Mel situated the paper on the clipboard and took a pencil from behind her wavy hair. “Question 1… Are you sexually active?” She gave me this impish half smile, half-inquisitive look.
“Uhh... No.” I replied with a hesitant chuckle.
The knowing looked turned into a full-raised eyebrow, but she continued on down the list. Thankfully, we could both laugh at “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
We went pretty quickly through the what felt like 50 questions. Then, just when I thought I might survive with my dignity…the men’s health questions.
“Do you wake up in the middle of the night to pee.” Well, I don’t sleep through it, if that’s what you mean. “Occasionally.” I replied. Please make it stop.
“…emptying your bladder?”
I managed a sheepish “nope.”
“Okay, and any concerns with erectile dysfunction?”
I had a choice here…be mortified or crack a joke. I took a breath “Refer back to question 1.” And thankfully we both laughed.
Mel stood and set the clipboard down and the counter before taking another of those glorious stretches. Then, rather unexpectedly, she went to the door and pressed the small button on the handle before perching herself up on the exam table. Her legs dangled a little, despite her height. She looked at me for a moment, then asked “so….why’d you laugh at question 1?”
I took a deep breath, swallowed really hard, and avoided eye contact like the plague. “It’s not, umm…not exactly by choice,” I stammered. “Relationship issues…wife isn’t into it. Actually, I’m relatively sure she’s asexual, but she won’t admit that.” Oh my God! I just met this woman and I told her THAT.can this possibly get any worse?
“How long has it been?”
Yes…yes it can.
I hesitated…”no more than once or twice a year for the past five years, at least.”
“Wow.” I think she let a little more shock out than she intended. “Certainly not what we’d call ‘active’, then.” Mel thought for a moment then suggested “I’d like to draw some blood for the typical stuff, then there’s a physical test or two I’d like to do. Would that be okay?”
Thank goodness…back to normal. “Yeah, sure. Absolutely.”
She tied a blue elastic around by right arm, just below the bicep. “Little prick, that’s all.” I could tell she processed the words just as they came out of her mouth. She blushed and covered her mouth with her left hand but I still saw a little bit of the lower lip. I saved her with a chuckle, and she carefully and gently stuck me with a need. Three vials later, I thought I was in the clear—boy was I wrong.
“Okay, Charlie. I’m going to need you to stand up and take your pants off. Are you comfortable with that?”
Did she seriously ask that with a straight face? “Uhh… sure?..” I stood, kicked off my shoes, and lowered my pants and my dignity right along with them. It’s fine…she’s practically a doctor. She’s a professional…Thank God I wore boxers today… she’s…..
Mel reached out with her right hand and gave a one-word direction. “Cough.”
She’s cupping my balls. “Cuhhh.” I managed.
“Not good enough…how about a little harder.” The very attractive certified nurse practitioner had her hand under my scrotum.
“COUGH!”
“Now…was that so hard?” Once again, she heard the words as they came out. “You can go ahead and have a seat, Charlie.” As she said the words, she bent down and picked up my jeans, folded them in half and half again and placed them on the exam table behind her.
I sat as instructed, in underwear, a t-shirt, and black ankle socks. Quite the outfit.
“I’m going to be honest with you, Charlie. I’m a little concerned about the possibility of E.D. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to a lot of guys. It’s part of growing older, and…it’s impacted by your overall health which we’re going to work on improving.” I wasn’t sure where this was going, but then she continued “The last thing I want to do is find out that you’ve gone on one of those websites and ordered pills from a doctor who has no idea about your overall health.”
“I wouldn’t do that. No real reason to…”
Mel cut me off mid-sentence. “Just relax…” and there was a slow change as her voice got more breathy and quiet. “Just sit back, relax, and close your eyes.”
I tried. I swear, I tried. I sat back as she walked around behind the chair. She placed her hands on my shoulders and started to rub them. The rub turned into a shoulder massage and I began to fill tingles as he massaged my neck and coaxed my head to fall forward a little.
“How’s this?” she asked.
“This…is different.” I replied honestly. Having a Celtic Goddess rub my shoulders and neck definitely was not on my bingo card this morning.
The CNP leaned over my back a little and rubbed my chest with her hands. At the same time, she was rubbing her ample cleavage against my neck. Is she…doing that on purpose? She has to know, right?? At this point the tingles were more like a loud buzz in my brain. I swallowed hard again as she pressed a little further forward and ran her fingertips along my thighs. Oh wow.
The silence broke with “Well…you don’t seem to be having a problem today.” Yep…there was a growing bulge down below. Thankfully it rivaled the growing lump in my throat. “When you …if you have problems…”, she corrected herself. “Any thoughts what might be causing it?”
The question sounded sincere, and I trusted her. I kept my eyes closed and head down as I could feel her moving around my right side and back in front of me. “I think it’s probably mostly psychological, to be honest. Obviously, my health could improve, but most of the time the problem is..” I cut myself off mid thought as I felt her hands on my knees, then some gentle pressure to move them apart. “Ummm… between my ears.”
I braved to open one eye. Mel was in a catcher position between my knees. She squatted effortlessly on the balls of her feet, while she pulled her hair back into a pony tail with her right hand and deftly slid the scrunchie off her arm and into position with her left.
Breathe, Charlie…Don’t forget to breathe. I couldn’t believe what seemed to be happening. I was powerless to stop it…I was also desireless to stop it. It was as if my body was frozen there but my brain was going full speed ahead.
I inhaled as I once again felt her hand on my balls. “We need to see how well you can maintain this erection…is it okay if I touch you?” Again, was she serious? Another deep breath. This beautiful woman has her hair in a pony tail, her hand in my boxers…and she’s holding my balls. Another breath.
In that moment I could feel the cool air of the room on the tip of my penis. Full staff…poking through the fly of my underwear. Honestly…prouder than I had seen him in some time, and no wonder why. I closed my eyes again, hoping that this was a dream that I’d never wake up from.
Mel had my testicles in one hand and my shaft in another; clinically of course. She massaged with one hand and pulled gently with the other. Then she switched…the action not the hands. There were moments when she squeezed the shaft and gave the balls a little tug. Of course, the very traditional one-handed stroke of the shaft. Firm pressure, but not too much as she moved her hand up. Gentle touch as she slid back down. A little squeeze and roll of the balls, then repeat the process.
Not that this happens often….ever...to me, but I suppose my normal inclination would be to alternate thoughts on how good it felt, and then something off the wall. Just, try to stay in control of the situation and prolong it for as long as I possibly cold. But in this moment, the thought that rang out was my dad’s sage advice on the matter. “Son, date a woman with small hands…it’ll make your dick look bigger.”
The sensation changed as I felt finger tips rather than palm. Light touches instead of a firm grip. I didn’t dare open my eyes to see what was happening. I never got to play ‘Seven Minutes in Heaven’ as a teenager, but I was experiencing it now. Has it been seven minutes? Who knows…could be seven days. I was lost in the feeling of the moment. Oh…. I sighed. Oh my God, this amaz… oh no. NO…Don’t. My inner voice screamed at every cell in my body, but it was too late. I lost control.
My dick was throbbing in an unfamiliar hand, and that hand continued to stroke…much longer than I normally would have. My eyes were squeezed as tight as they could be; I was white-knuckling the arms of the chair. My breaths were short and rapid. And then…everything slowed down.
One last deep breath, as I felt Mel’s hands push herself up off my knees.
“I am…so sorry.” I apologized, opening my eyes.
She laughed, “Not the first time, won’t be the last…” And as if the whole situation hadn’t just been surreal enough, my nurse practitioner peeled her tight white t-shirt up and over her wonderous chest. She perched once again on the exam table.
“I can’t believe I did…” she cut me off again.
“I can. You gave it a great effort though. Those were some of my best moves!”
She looked down at her lacy white bra to make sure there was no “evidence”. I looked too, but for a different reason. The bra was lacy, but supportive. It needed to be—it had a big job to do. Her midriff was athletic, but soft. Evidence of a six-pack, but simultaneously very feminine. Very cute belly button with a small scar at the top that no doubt had it’s little story to tell.
Satisfied that she was good to go, Mel put the pony tail back down and the t-shirt got deposited in the soiled linens bin. She continued the conversation as she walked over to the small sink in the room.
“Obviously not a physical problem, Charlie. That’s good.” She washed her hands as she talked as if this was somehow all absolutely normal. “I’d like to make a referral for you to see someone about the psychological part. Would you be willing to do that?” Then, with some effort she squeezed the lovely ladies into a blue scrub top.
I would have agreed to anything at that point. She handed me a warm washcloth to clean myself up, and put my pants back down in the chair beside me. Mel held out her hand to shake mine as I fumbled with a washcloth, then thought better of it.
“I’m going to schedule your therapy appointment for tomorrow, and I want to see you back here in 30 days. Okay?”
“Sure, yeah” I mustered. My brain was still foggy.
“It was nice to meet you.” She gave me a little wave over her shoulder as she opened the previously locked door. She paused for just a moment and this time I’m sure I saw it…she wiggled her butt in my direction. She wiggled her perfectly shaped ass at me as she left me to get dressed.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
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