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I came home from work, my thoughts looking ahead to another great night of sucking and fucking with Gary. I still caught some moments with his dad, usually just a quick blow job and some kissing. But most every night was devoted to pleasing Gary. Sometimes we'd get a motel room, but most times it was a blanket on the beach, some beer, and lots of hot, passionate sex. Anyway, as I entered my house , I saw my mother was on the phone, and she had tears streaming down her face. My mind raced with bad thoughts about what was happening. She told whoever she was speaking to that she had to go. She hung up the phone and told me that Gary's dad had a major heart attack and had died that afternoon at work. I was completely stunned. He was such a big, strong guy, and only 42 years old.

I called Gary's house, but he didn't want to speak to anyone. I was a little hurt by this. But that didn't compare to the next few days. Aside from the grief of Bob's passing, I was even further devastated by Gary's total rejection of me through the wake and burial. He wouldn't even say hi or look in my direction. Even after the burial, he refused my calls. About a week after the burial, Gary left a message for me to meet him at the beach that night around 7. I was really anxious to see him and find out why he was avoiding me. I got there around 6:30. Gary arrived maybe 10 minutes later. He wasn't very friendly and suggested we take a walk. He explained to me that he felt his fathers death was somehow a punishment for what we were doing together. Thats why he had shunned me as he did. He was getting over that guilt, but felt he ...

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