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Chapter Twentyfive

CASUAL CRUELTY

One morning he came back from the bathroom and reached as usual for the strap hung over the bedhead to give me my morning beating, but suddenly checked himself, as if on impulse, and said "No. Let's use something different for a change." He untethered me and told me to go up to the punishment room and bring him "something to thrash you with."

I was aghast, knowing the huge variety of equipment up there, and asked him what he wanted. He shrugged as if it were a matter of no great consequence and told me to choose.

It was a winter morning and still dark so I switched on the stair light and went up. The landing light shone through the doorway into that grim attic, illuminating the rack of implements on the opposite wall. It was if they were waiting for me. It was freezing cold in the big, bare space under the rafters and my naked body was soon shuddering, so a quick decision was needed. Just grab the first thing and get back, was the obvious strategy. Well no, not the first thing because that was a length of heavy chain - obviously unsuitable. The next was a light whip with three tails of soft, thin leather. Ideal! But was it? That would be lighter than the regular strap. Would he accept it, and even if he did, would he not despise me for taking such an easy option? ...

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