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Every day I woke up wishing I was dead. I didn't know what kind of world I lived in that would rip David from me, in such a way that the pain would cripple me each day. In such a way that I would be forever haunted by the words "I love you, forever" no matter who uttered them. In such a way that I went to bed each night, hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning. Lord, why couldn't it have been me?

I never expected to lose David. Always in my mind there was the perfect image, of the perfect life, David and I happily ever after. The days leading up to what had become the worst day of my life had been perfect. The stupid little fights that had littered our relationship for most of its time had completely ceased. For most of the previous months, our relationship had been damn near perfect. Never for even a second did I think on the completely normal July 20th, that by the 21st, our time together in this lifetime would be over.

* * *

Since David had moved out of the Bowen Estate at the beginning of the summer, to a small little apartment on University Blvd., our relationship brightened intensely. We spent any time possible together. The only time we were apart was when we were at our respective jobs. But as soon as we got out, we were together again. The pressures put on us by his family completely disappeared. For the first time ever, we could be together and not worry about making someone "uncomfortable." ...

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