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[T]he time shall not go dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules' labors...

-Don Pedro, Much Ado About Nothing Act II, scene I

There were people on the balcony, so I found a way up to the roof. The party goers would have swarmed this place had they found it, but the only way up involved a rusty fire escape ladder.

We're going to get you laid. It sounded so simple when Robbie said it. Some people are good with women. Some people have casual sex regularly. I'm not one of them. I was 24 at this point, and I'd slept with all of three different women. The thought of incrementing that list by one in a single night seemed unthinkable.

Crap! I heard someone climbing the fire escape ladder. My heart rate spiked and I scrambled for somewhere to hide---not easy when you're on a roof. I held my breath behind the chimney, listening to one foot then another land safely off the ladder.

"I know you're up here, man."

I exhaled. Just Robbie. I advanced from my hiding place.

"What the fuck are you doing here, dude." Robbie was sitting cross ...

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